**The following is taken from: Levene & Mayfield, '10 Steps to Fashion Freedom', p. 6 - 9**
THE PROBLEM WITH CATEGORIES
Unlike most books about style, 10 steps to Fashion Freedom contains no diagrams, beautiful pictures or color charts. That is because this is not a conventional "style" book or a "beauty" book, and it is certainly not a fashion book. It is a self-help book about how to discover your personal style.
For many fashion experts, "process" means identifying a client's category: "Phew, that's done. I'm a Winter!" or "Oh, I've got it now-- I'm 'Sporty'. Now can we please go shopping?" Trouble is, what does a "Romantic" do who happens to work on Wall Street, or a "Gamine" who lifts weights? All of these ways of fingerprinting people-- whether by seasons, colors, or personality types-- are different versions of the quick fix.
Those who use these categories do not ask you to look inside yourself to explore who you are. They are looking at groups. You are not a group. You are an individual. Our approach is about self-awareness-- we ask you to use what you have learned to determine your own categories.
Your image also reflects your inner style, through very specific messages about who you are and what you represent: your attitudes, your behavior, and the way you communicate. Do your business associates find you personable? Do you remember your manners, even when you have a bad day? Sometimes your inner style messages are so strong that elements of yoru outer style-- your clothes, your hair-- become almost invisible. Knowing what your inner assets are, and communicating well both verbally and physically, are just a few of the elements that make up your inner style. When you have defined your inner and outer style, you will be able to integrate them seamlessly to create your true personal style.
But if your image is oncongruent, untruthful, and inappropriate for your inner style, it causes distractions and misinterprets who you really are. One "creative" whom we met was trying to express the fact that he lived and worked in a creative field. He wore all-black clothing, with chunky black boots, and he sported a goatee, which had become the hip trend in mens' facial hair. He was sending out the message I am creative loud and clear. The problem was tat that wasn't the message people were recieving.
His black clothing was worn and faded. His jeans had been washed so many times, they were now gray. His trendy facial hair did not complement the shape of his face, and his black boots interfered with the way he carried himself. He thought his image represented creativity, but in reality it had swallowed his personality and made him look shabby. Those who met him might well have wondered: If he is that uncaring about himself and his image, then why would we want to be around him or trust him as a "creative"?
Most people do care about their appearance and want to improve it by finding their unique style. But most people don't know how to go about achieving it. They try quick fixes and superficial ways to feel good about themselves in the form of one-day makeovers and shopping sprees. But as soon as the shopping high wears off, they become discouraged and are once again dissatisfied with how they look. And they no longer feel confident participating in their own transformation.
At this point many people turn to prefabricated style, in the form of well-marketed logos and mass-produced looks. This is an abdication of responsibility, a surrender to the Big Brother of Clothes. Like joining a club, it creats not personal style but conformity, safety, mediocrity, and a false sense of security.
We are often asked to consult on the clothing aspect of makeovers for television shows. One daytime talk show was working on a tight schedule and gave us us very little time even to do the makeovers, let alone anything more meaningful. The participants were herded around to different stores and were left standing like mannequins while we rushed around to find the best clothing items for them. For the taping, as instructed by the show's producers, the participants arrived at the studio in their "worst" clothing, with no makeup and messy hair; the men were unshaven. Obviously the worst people look in the beginning, the more dramatic their changes will appear to be.
Then later the participants appeared with their new hairstyles, new makeup, and new clothing. The makeovers were a success for the audience, the show, and the producers. There were lots of ooh's and ahh's from the audience. the participants truly enjoyed the whole experience. They had recieved two days of everyone's undivided attention. They were on national television. They liked the way they looked. They felt great for those few hours.
But they did not participate in their own transformations, because they had been handed over to the capable hands of experts. On the way home from the show, we talked about what would happen to those people the next day. The makeup would be washed off, the clothes, jewelry and accessories would be returned to the stores (that's right, most times you can't even keep the clothes!), the hair extensions would be removed, the hairstyles would droop and flatten, and eventually even the hair color would wash out. Maybe the participants had the time of their lives, but they did not learn anything from their makeovers, except that they couldn't afford the services they had recieved or the clothes that they had been asked to wear for an hour. We had no time to teach them why we chose a particular color for them, or why a certain jacket style was flattering, or why the fabric of a blouse felt good.
TV shows feature makeovers solely for their entertainment value. THey engineer them for the audience's benefit, so that viewers will be amazed with the transformations. One TV producer exclaimed to us in horror that a woman we'd chosen as a makeover subject for her show was unacceptable because she wasn't a "mess" and the transformation wouldn't be dramatic enough. That was true: like most people, while neither beautiful nor glamorous, the woman we chose was simply open to making improvements in certain aspects of her appearance. Unfortunately, the audience never experienced the everyday reality of her needs and desires. And here is the crux of the problem.
True transformations are not dramatic overnight successes. They are journeys of discovery. The journey is of fulfillment and a comforting progression toward discovering and revealing your true self.
**From chapter 4, pages 97-99**
INNER STYLE: THE INSIDE STORY
It was a cold, gray, and drizzly February afternoon in London. A tall, attractive woman unobtrusively entered the shop. She was wearing gray sweatpants, a dark sweatshirt, and well-worn tennis shoes. Her hair was pulled back with a wide cloth headband. She acknowledged her appearance by saying that she has just been to the Laundromat and was on her way to a movie. With infectious enthusiasm and incredible focus, she said she was interested in buying some clothes for her husband, who was very busy and didn't have time to shop.
Articulate and clear in her verbal communication, she was specific about the type of things she wanted; yet she was also open to suggestions. She seemed to enjoy being "sold to", but she did not depend on it when making decisions. She was very conscious of her environment and its contents and did not act as if she were the only person in the shop. Even though she had a time constraint, she behaved as if she had no other commitments. She listened in a way that encouraged real communication, not shop chat, and she made wonderful eye contact.
Her exit was as stylish as the rest of her behavor. As she stood by the door, holding several bags full of clothes, she offered her thanks and a sincere smile. Emma Thompson almost floated out the door.
Style, the dictionary says, is "a quality of imagination and individuality expressed in ones actions and taste". We believe that style consists of three very specific elements, which are attitude, behavior, and communication-- the very attributes that Emma Thompson impressed upon us in the most natural and uncalculated way. Her inner style-- rge combination of these three elements-- had absolutely nothing to do with the clothes she happened to be wearing that day. And when a person's inner style is allied outwardly with taste, imagination, and individuality, we experience the charismatic powerful, magnetic aspects of personal style. Some come by it naturally-- others develop it.
Your attitude affects your behavior. Your behavior affects the way you communicate. And the way you communicate, be it verbally, physically, or through clothes, affects your personal style.
Your personal style, your "look", evolves as your sense of self evolves.
So you've passed the fifteen-second first impression test. Your clothes are fabulous, you have a great hairstyle, you made great eye contact and gave a firm handshake, and you're fit as a fiddle. Everyone is practically bowled over by your great first impression. But then what? Can you sustain that first impression? Will you be able to keep it up? How sincere is it? Are you who you say you are?
As we begin this session, we cannot express to you how vital your inner style is to the development of your personal style. This session represents one of our passions! Through the years we have seen firsthand, over and over again, that clothing, fashion, good taste, and the money to buy the best of these, us irrelevant when a person's inner style is lacking or nonexistant.
A Beverly Hills hairstylist told us one day of her experience with a beautiful model. When the model entered the salon, all heads and eyes turned-- she was breathtakingly beautiful, not your run-og-the-mill, regular beautiful model. Anyone who walked past the model on the street would definitely stop and stare at her. But the longer the model was in the salon, the more demanding she became. By the time she left, our stylist friend said that the model "needed so much attention that she became ugly". The exprience so affected the stylist that she now chooses to refrain from working with people whose attitude and behavior are so unattractive.
This story shows clearly that one's personal style cannot be totally dependent on outer image. Beauty, even astounding beauty, is never enough. Personal style has to involve something more lasting than just appearance. Eventually, even if your interaction with someone is brief, you will experience the person, if they have developed a personal style. Basically and simply it begins with the handshake, the smile, the eye contact, and the verbal greeting. How you perform these actions defines your inner style.
It is your actions, not your looks, that tell people who you really are.
Makeup, hairstyles, colors, fabrics, cutting-edge styles, who's wearing (or exposing) what-- the media always present you with the outside story. The inside story is hardly ever seen as relevant. Relying on a designer garment to create your personal style is like putting the cart before the horse. Your attitudes, your behavior, and the way you communicate transport you to a better, more memorable place.
Corporate clients who employ us to work with their staff eventually do want their employees to improve their personal appearance; however, they are just as, if not more, interested in having them develop their inner style. They want their employees to walk into a room and project a unique presence.
These clients readily recognize the importance of both the inner and the outer aspects of personal style. Studies have shown that whenever a business presentation is made, 58 percent of its success depends upon the image of the presenter.
We may not all make business presentations every day, but we do present ourselves daily. And at times we are not entirely happy with some aspect of our outer style. We all need something reliable to fall back on when we feel, for whatever reason, that we're having a bad hair day. Identifying and beginning to develop your inner style will bring you comfort and security in improving your image.
** Levene & Mayfield, p. 84 - 88**
THE MEDIA AND ITS IMPOSSIBLE MESSAGES
Our concept of what is attractive and what we should look like comes from the mass media and marketing. You are supposed to be blessed with beauty and physical perfection, or else you are supposed to buy the products that will help you attain it. The media plays a crucial role in the development of your body image.
We have great respect for television, film, newspapers, and magazines, and we appreciate the educational and entertainment benefits of all forms of the media. but let us be clear that the media's number-one priority is to hold our attention. It does so by informing, entertaining, thrilling, and exciting us. But if the media are your only standard for your personal and physical self-image, then you are setting yourself up for a huge disappointment-- and you will not be self-referred when it comes to developing your personal style.
Suppose we are told that big shoulders are coming back into "style". Who think out the implications of that, and what it will or will not mean to him or her? A person who has developed personal style maturely, who is confident of his or her personal style. Such a person will not be bamboozled by the whims and moneymaking schemes of the media and fashion elite. He or she will not be distracted by the "irresistible offers" and dictates of a small but powerful percentage of the population. such people pick and choose what they want to do.
The media have manipulated our consciousness for as long as anyone can remember. Remember the "girdle era", which followed the "corset era"? Wmen wearing girdles no doubt had a smoother, more svelte look, thanks to the elastic that kept their bodies from being lumpy and bumpy. But at what price? Women lost circulation in their bodies. Soon it was considered improper not to maneuver one's ample frame into a girdle. The message: physical imperfections are not acceptable.
Now we are in the "body shaper era". These undergarments help hold in, smooth out, and reshape women's bodies so that they will look better in the tight and revealing clothing that exists today. Notice the way you react to ads for these undergarments in newspapers and magazines. Maybe you were completely ignorant that they even existed until one morning you opened the paper and there they were. Do they make you feel yuo really should "get used to" being uncomfortable for the sake of your appearance? Some women feel that discomfort is a small price to pay for a smoother silhouette. But other's might buy into someone else's values and perception about what looks good, then waste time and money trying to achieve that look, before realizing they are unwilling to pay the price. Reading this book will help you make your own decisions based on your personal choices.
When our clients choose their style icons, most of them, even the ones as young as twenty-three, choose icons from past decades. The reason is obvious. This is an unkind age to be in the public eye, making unrealistic demands for what celebrities "should" look like. Our clients express that there seems to be something real and attainable about the images and personalities of Katharine Hepburn, Gary Cooper, and Greta Garbo. While they were stars of great magnitude, they still seemed fallible and human. They inspired our clients to think "Yes, maybe i could do that", or "That seems possible for me." But today's celebrities and potential style icons must run for cover from the ever-prying eye of the media. They flee into their own private worlds when not in front of the camera, and as a result they seem less human and less approachable to us.
Another very important difference in today's celebrity atmosphere is the technology of cosmetic surgery. "a nip and tuck" has graduated to a full-blown body makeover. Now, you may not know anyone who has been the recipient of such a technological miracle, but you can't get away from this phenomenon in the media. Almost every woman on television seems more beautiful, more perfect that just a few short years ago. Every man has an almost nonchalant handsomeness, as if he's really not trying very hard to look so good. And it also appears as if no one ages.
Taking good care of yourself, keeping healthy and strong, looking good-- and using technology to do so-- are certainly no longer considered vain or exclusive. But the standards for attractiveness that celebrities set are impossible for most people to attain. And with each day that passes in this fast-paced world, the word normal is quickly fading.
In our own experiences with celebrities, we have found that they really are beautiful people, yet they complain about their appearance and are never satisfied with it. They have their own image problems, some of which are very serious. Yet they are the very people upon whom others are basing their image desires. They are the prototypes for what is considered beautiful.
THE SHRINKING WOMAN
A few months ago we say an advertisement in the Los Angeles Times for a twelve-week body makeover. The woman in the ad said, "I went from a size 8 to a size 4 in just 12 weeks!" We nostalgically remarked that many women used to consider a size 8 quite an accomplishment. After all, Marilyn Monroe was a size 8. When did size 4 become so desirable? How unfair it is that women who are having a hard time staying even near size 8 are now told that it's not good enough. Just a few weeks later we came across another ad. This one said, "6 Week Body Makeover-- A size 7 to a size 0 in 6 weeks!" What does a size 0 dress look like? Doesn't 0 mean nothing? And what will women have to do during those 6 weeks to accomplish the feat of achieving it? Does that mean that when they reach their goal, they will no longer be seen at all? Yes, it is funny in a way, but what is not funny is walking into a shop that only sells sizes 0-6. That shop's message is that if you are larger than a 6, then something is wrong with you. In addition, women are supposed to look fit and strong. How is someone who wears a size 0 supposed to look fit and healthy? We really don't know.
For most people, this trendy thinness is impossible to obtain and certainly impossible to sustain.
THE PERFECT MAN
The expectations for men these days are also higher. Contrary to most people's beliefs, it is not only women who hate their bodies. Men suffer too, most silently. Many men feel that they are not supposed to be concerned with their looks. But others feel that having a negative body image threatens their masculinity.
Here's the prescription for men. Men are supposed to be tall, have broad shoulders, a muscular chest and biceps, a small, tight bottom, a thirty-inch waist, strong facial features, and a head full of hair. This prescription has led some men to jeopardize their health with steroid abuse and excessive exercise. More than ever before, men are seeking cosmetic surgery, hair transplants, face-lifts, liposuction, and chest implants. In the 1920's a bodybuilder named Charles Atlas told boys that his training course would provide them with hope, confidence, and self-esteem by giving them the "perfect" body. Today the Charles Atlas message still exists-- "I must be physically attractive in order to succeed in life" --and has been updated by surgery and drugs.
It is very difficult for people not to be affected by the constant barrage of media influences. Many people compare themselves with media images and try desperately to keep up the impossible pace. But others of you rebel. You are the defiant ones. You intentionally distance yourself from as many of the media's messages as you can. You believe there is nothing out there worthy of your attention. You feel that you don't have the time, the money, or the desire to achieve the look you are told is "in". You dress and drum. But you do care. In fact, you are potentially the most stylish of people.
The price you pay for not listening to your personal style voice is very high, for you are going against your true grain and thus feel conflict and anger. You may suffer from low self-esteem and occupy a space of loneliness that alienates you from being all you can be. You may be fighting to hold on to your identity, without being sure of what it is. But the irony is that it is much easier for you to achieve your image goals than it is for most people. For a significant amount of your work has already been done. You have not bought into "fashion" so there is nothing for you to "undo". The media do not cater to or even acknowledge you. You will understand this more clearly and potently in the next session, when you will define your inner style. But consider this point about your rejection of the media's messages as your wake-up call. You are probably very bright. You have a very strong personality and opinions, of which you are more aware now because of the work you've done in the first two sessions. You don't want to be a member of any club that dictates rules and images that are not congruent with who you are.
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